Thursday, April 30, 2009

Why do bees hum?

Because the average honey bee beats its wings at approximately 11400 bpm (180 every second), which causes audible vibrations in the air. These vibrations could be described as a hum, but are most commonly known as 'buzzing'.

Wednesday, April 29, 2009

What do you give a sick Pig?

Well, Swine Influenza is difficult to treat due to the evolution of the virus in recent decades. However, vaccines can be used when the virus strain has been identified. Other porcine illnesses include "Blue-Ear Pig Disease" and African Swine Fever Virus, both of which require vaccines.

Tuesday, April 28, 2009

What do you call a deer with no legs?

Deer are the ruminant mammals forming the family Cervidae. A number of broadly similar animals from related families within the order Artiodactyla (even-toed ungulates) are also often called deer.

Why are there so many Chinese people in Harrow?

There aren't. The Chinese population represents only 1.4% of the total population of the London Borough of Harrow. This is less than the neighbouring Borough of Barnet, for example.

Monday, April 27, 2009

When is a Door not a Door?

Never. Anything that is a door will always be known as such. Anything that is not a door was never the subject of inquiry in the first place.

Sunday, April 26, 2009

What do you call a Dinosaur with one eye?

Seriously handicapped. With one eye, the dinosaur would be ill-equipped for hunting and would find it harder to evade predators.

How do you make a Maltese cross?

Well, firstly you need some molten iron and a specific and suitable cross mould, but really you shouldn't attempt this unless you have previous cross-making experience (This classic submitted - which I can't place the first time I heard it - by Mark)

What do you get if you cross a kangaroo with a sheep?

Well, ignoring the fact that this would be impossible, you'd likely get a creature that was accepted by neither the sheep or kangaroo species and destined to die out in one generation. (submitted by Paul)

"Doctor, I feel like a pair of curtains"

"I'm afraid I'm unable to help. I'm a medical doctor and therefore inadequately trained in psychology. I'm afraid I'll have to refer you." (submitted by FoldsFive)

Where do policemen live?

All over the place. To have them concentrated in one geographical location would make efficient law enforcement unworkable at best. (submitted by FoldsFive)

Why did the chewing gum cross the road?

Because the chance processes of becoming adhered to various other mobile objects had occurred in such a way that lead it to move gradually across the carriageway (submitted by Druid)

What is a ghosts favourite meal?

They don't have one. The very idea of a non corporeal supernatural entity eating is ridiculous (submitted by FoldsFive)

Welcome to Killing The Joke!

..which would have been called "That joke isn't funny anymore" but the name had already been taken. Much like Horne and Cordens recent comedy series, the aim of this site is to turn humour on its head and sap any comical potential from any jokes you care to think of. See it as Hale and Pace but without the catchphrases.