or "That Joke Isn't Funny Anymore". Send any submissions to the email address found in my FoldsFive profile.
I think the bill would most likely toughen up as the moisture dries out of it - beaks are pretty hard things, I doubt that a microwave would cause it to wither. It would be a bit like microwaving a seashell.
Stick its head up its arse and paint it black!
put it in the oven at 180 degrees until its Bill Whithers