Somebody has stolen all the toilets from the Police Station.

Police are taking this very seriously - for one, it means the security of the station has been compromised - no insignificant matter, all things taken into account. Luckily there is plenty of evidence in the form of closed circuit camera footage of the culprits, so they should be apprehended shortly. Added to the fact that this week saw them investigating a hole that was found in the middle of the road in the high street, it's been a traumatic time.

Why are there no Aspirin in the Jungle?

Well, the lack of pharmacists/chemists in true 'jungle' areas means that they can't be purchased there, which will limit numbers. However, statistically some will be mistakenly left by explorers or other visitors to the area as Aspirin is useful in the jungle as an analgesic to relieve minor aches and pains, as an antipyretic to reduce fever, and as an anti-inflammatory medication, as well as having an anti-coagulate effect.

Why did the Chicken cross the Road?

It had probably escaped from someone's hen house and would have been absolutley terrified. It would not have had any particular destination in mind, but was trying to find shelter from the traffic. Call the police and/or the RSPCA unless it is safe to attempt catching it yourself and returning it to safety. (submitted by Captn Hood-Butter of B3ta.)

Why didn't the Skeleton go to the Party?

To be accurately described as a skeleton, you would have to be dead. There is no way an organism can continue to exist when reduced to just its bone structure. Animate skeletons are confined to fiction so would be unable to attend a social gathering.